Do you feel lost, hopeless or simply confused about your current and future life? As someone who has spent many hours reminiscing about greater times in the past, I've come to the understanding that nostalgia is a double-edged sword.
If we constantly dwell on how things used to be, when we were younger, when people were still our friends and partners, we may sacrifice our current and future happiness.
Friends come and go
While we'd all like some things to be permanent, friends are one of those things that may not be. As we move to parts of our towns and countries, it's easy to disconnect. We have the ability to stay connected via Facebook, email and other sorts of digital media, but it's not the same.
I've lived in three vastly different cities in the last 10 years and still are learning to accept this! The truth is that things change and it's up to us to accept it or fight it.
Fighting loss and living in denial seems to make things worse. It's as if nature intends us to move forward, just as a storm passes by. You can see the storm coming and begin to question "what's it gonna be like?". Next the storm comes through and shows it's true power. This is when the strong make it and the weak may not. The storm passes and it's all over. Now it's time to see what's changed and what remains. We can then cherish what we have remaining.
If we begin to look at nature's coping process to help us through life's traumas we may start to develop strength against them.
If the birds became increasingly frightened every time a strong breeze came along, they'd eventually just give up. They would become so paranoid of the next breeze that even a minor waft of air would make them leave the nest.
We have power and strength to move on after change and loss. It's just a matter of becoming a spectator and not so much a responder.
Our blood is our tribe
Even though I've developed some amazing friendships with people as a podcast host in the past few years, my blood is still my true tribe. This is an inherent fact that lies in all of our DNA. While others can become special role models and key players for our personal journey through life, our true family remains on the forefront of our DNA.
Spending time with our loved ones and our closest family members is potentially one of the greatest anti-anxiety and depressants available to mankind.
Many people have a negative connotation to their family tree that seems to be rifled with conflict and other petty issues. Despite the problems that our families may or may not have, our DNA enjoys being around them. Tribes have spent their entire lives with their blood, this is the only thing that made sense. People across the world outside of the United States often live with their family for a large portion of their lives. We are one of the few countries who attempts to run out of the door at age 18 to start our own lives.
- Is the moment we move away and separate from our tribe the moment our confusion about life begins?
- Have you spent time away from the ones that you've loved and needed the most? What was it that took you away in the first place?
As society seems to become more digitally connected, we are becoming socially and physically isolated. This is creating a massive epidemic of depression and a lack of true purpose in our individual lives.
We need to seek out more physical interaction.
If you have the ability to see your family in person, do it on a regular basis. Many people complain about family issues, grudges and unresolved matters. One beneficial step towards getting over these issues and working towards a happier conclusion is to read Change Your Brain, Change Your Body: Use Your Brain to Get and Keep the Body You Have Always Wanted.
Now is a good time to let go of the past and begin to narrow our focus to the present moment.
The future has not been written and your journal is nothing but a blank slate! You can control what ends up on the pages of your life.
Pursue and harvest love
Many singers and influential people throughout history have alluded to the enormous benefits of LOVE. We need love. We crave love. We all just need someone to love.
Without love, it's as if your "lens of life" is clouded over with confusion and a lack of certainty. With love, it's as if the fog was cleared from your mirror after a hot shower. The reflection and potential for happiness is then restored!
Love is not a topic in almost every song for no reason. Love is one of the most confusing topics to scientists as it's something we can't perfectly describe with numbers, equations and big words. It's one of those things you just feel.
An active pursuit and harvest of love is essential to happiness in the 21st Century.
WE ARE NOT ROBOTS.
If someone wants to go through life feeling like a robot, it's simple:
- lock yourself inside for the majority of the time
- disempower yourself by only focusing on things you can't control
- eat a poor diet
- only focus on the negative parts of life
On the other hand, if someone wants to live a life of passion, emotion and raw feelings of what it's like to be a human:
- pick up the phone and call someone to meet up
- take some snacks and go for a walk in a popular part of town
- talk to strangers about life (I seriously do this often..do you)
- ask someone a question that cannot be answered by a yes or no (what's it like working at the Zoo? what brought you here? where did you live before here?)
- just get up and move. exercise may stimulate empowering thoughts
- cherish the people around you. hug them and kiss them longer and more frequently
- just say I LOVE YOU
I can't think of a better way to end this than saying that I love you.
I am on the same spinning rock we call Earth as you. We are in this together even though it may not feel like it most of the time. We need each other and we depend on each other for our way of life.
There are people that do care.
There are people that think the same crazy and desperate thoughts as you. Everyone else is just trying to figure out how to be happy too. Yes, we all know how hard life can be. Yes, we want more time to spend with our friends and family, less stress, more delicious food, more sleep and more sex too...We just have to keep working at it.
Effort is the first step of figuring it out. You have the power inside of your heart and spirit to begin. Take a breath and feel it.